A Step-by-Step Guide on Becoming the School Rizzler

By Brooklyn C.

Congratulations, you are less than six hundred words away from achieving your moment of glory as NSA’s current comedian! Welcome fellow NSAers, here is your step-by-step guide to living the life you always knew you wanted. 

 

Step 1: Master the Art of Gen Z Slang - NSA Edition

There is nothing sweeter than the feeling of understanding words the cool people are saying. That shirt is giving camp leader? The concert was a slay? The vibes are vibing? Yes, these terms, and those alike to these, should be a part of your everyday vocabulary. It is your job as a member of this generation to pretend you know all the trends that are going around. Especially the ones that have a habit of showing up in the High School Courtyard. 

 

Step 2: Pick-up Line Your Way Through Life

In every situation that could remotely call for a pick-up line, you should use it. Here are some of NSA’s favorite pick-up lines to get you going:

Mark: “Hey I know I seem a bit sour, but you’re the Jared to my Lemmon.”

Anonymous: “I was reading the book of Numbers, and I realized I didn’t have yours.”

Abby: “We should sue Spotify because they don't have you listed as today's hottest single. *Insert dramatic wink here*” 

Mark: “Luke you just Philips my heart with the happys.” 

Michaela: “If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one.”

Anonymous: I know you don’t like raisins but how ‘bout a date?

Jacob: We must be the alphabet because I'm A, your B, and I can C our future together.

 

Step 3: Become Besties with Jesus

Have you ever seen anything hotter than a person holding a Bible that looks like it has been through a lot? No, you haven’t. The only thing that might be better than that is the Navigator’s newest publication (you should go check it out). 

 

Step 4: Be The Most Active Person in School… From Your Couch

As a school that socially functions primarily on Teams, checking for calls to join or channels to be a part of is a great way to spread the word about your greatness. Try to join as many clubs as you can. The more time you spend with people, the more they get to see who you are. Maybe one day someone will even write a pick-up line about you. 

 

Step 5: Entertain the Notion That You Know Nothing

Humility can go a long way. People love it when they get special treatment from others, and it is not something often mentioned with charisma. C.S. Lewis said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less” (Armstrong). Pride can often be associated with the popular crowd; however, confident humility is worth so much more. Matthew 25:23a says, “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant” (Bible Gateway). Servant. Leave your pride at the door and humbly welcome those who are knocking right now. 

 

Step 6: Join the Navigator and Dedicate an Abnormal - Yet Ever-So-Important - Amount of Time Writing an Article About How to Become the Greatest Rizz-Master to Ever Exist 

You are very welcome, I hope you enjoyed it. 

 

561 words later… Congratulations! You have now unlocked a new level of wisdom unlike any other. From learning the art of Teams to enhancing your vocabulary, your crowning as the school rizzler is right around the corner. 

Brooklyn C. lives in South Asia with her three siblings, mom, dad, pet cats, and pet turtles. She is in eleventh grade and has been a student at NorthStar for three years. She spends her free time painting and drawing, in hopes of pursuing a career in children's book illustration. She also enjoys running, going on walks, listening to music, reading, watching movies, and traveling. 

🔎Informational, 🗣️AdviceEIC NSA2024-2025, February 2025 Publication