Identity: Starting the Conversation
By Keenan Watt
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How do you start the conversation on Identity?
You start it by listening, supporting, and being there for the other person. The topic of identity is a large and complex one. It has many different factors that impact it and because of that, it needs to be approached stage by stage and step by step. Nonetheless, it is a topic and conversation that needs to be talked about. A recently sent-out school survey showed that six out of nine NorthStar Academy high school students struggle with their identity and knowing who they are. More and more people are suffering from identity crises.
What Factors Impact Identity?
Different factors can greatly impact someone’s identity. One student said, “Everything impacts identity.’ From social media, friends, and family, to school and what you believe impacts your identity. A different student said that “How others treat me” is a factor that impacts their identity. Another student said that “What God says, how He created me, and how He created all things” impacts their identity.
What Does God Say About You?
In the survey, six out of eleven students reported that God has helped them find their identity. When you realize what lengths God went to to have a relationship with you, you can begin to understand why more than half of the students reported that answer.
Ephesians 1:5 says, “God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Him, through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Psalm 139:13-14 says, “For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise You because I have been fearfully and wonderfully made.” The entire Bible shows us a story of how God, through the centuries, continuously wanted and tried to have a relationship with humankind. That’s exactly why He made us! When we keep those thoughts in mind, we can then approach the topic of identity confidently.
How Do You Start The Conversation?
The key to talking about identity is to be understanding and listening to the other person. Through all conversations, focus on what the other person is saying, and not what you can say in response. Sometimes all it takes is sitting down with a friend and asking how they’ve been, like how they’ve REALLY been. Other times, no words need to be spoken, because showing up and being there for people can be more affirming and reassuring than any kind of conversation. A lot of the time, people who struggle with their identity, struggle internally. But maybe all it would take for them or a friend to open up is something like “Fill me in on everything, how are you doing? How’s your relationship with God at the moment, and how do you see Him working and moving in your life? Is there anything I can be praying for you about?” Because sometimes all someone needs is a friend to care enough to ask in order for them to open up.
Something to keep in mind is a great quote that says, “We are all so busy trying to be understood that we forget to be understanding.” Once we stop and take the time to understand each other, we begin to do so much more than listen, we hear, and then the people around us can feel heard rather than just listened to. Once people feel heard, they’ll feel comfortable enough to open up and talk about certain things. At that point, you’re basically just having a heart-to-heart, and that’s exactly what we want if we’re talking about identity.
Start the conversation by understanding!
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Keenan W. is in 11th Grade and has been with NSA since 2019. She lives in South Africa with her family and their dogs on a grape farm. Keenan plays both the piano and the mandolin. She is also an avid reader, loves music, and enjoys watching 2000s movies. Some of her interests include psychology, criminal justice, international affairs, forensics, and politics. She hopes to one day pursue a career in forensic psychology.