Who’s in Your Square Squad?

By Mrs. Katie Ahmadzai

When I was in high school . . . 

I realize that I was in high school over 25 years ago and starting an article in this way feels like I’m trying to relate to your experience when in truth the world has vastly changed since I was in high school. However, some things do not change, like our God-designed need for friendship, and that is what I want to focus on today. 

So, when I was in high school I had the most amazing group of friends. My friends had diverse talents and personalities, and we celebrated our uniqueness, even though those differences also drove us crazy at times. We were there to affirm, encourage, and challenge one another.

When I went to college I immediately started looking for a new group of friends and realized it can be harder to find and develop deep friendships in a new environment, but, it is not impossible. However, it does take work and intentionality. Thankfully, God has continued to provide a group of friends for me in high school, at college, during my first teaching job, when moving overseas, and even now here at NorthStar. 

Three years ago, I started a new journey when I began my master’s program at Baylor University. It had been almost 20 years since I graduated from college, and I found myself back on a college campus with a team of 27 educators from different types of schools from all around the country. One of the first topics we covered in class focused on relationships. Our professor encouraged us to find a square squad. A “square squad” is a term coined by Brene Brown in her book Dare to Lead to describe a limited number of people whose opinion matters to you, who you trust to be honest with you, and who want the best for you. Honestly, I wrote down a couple of names and sort of forgot about it. After two weeks, we all left and went our separate ways, only to see one another in our little Zoom boxes once a week over the next year. 

Soon after I returned home, I got a random text from a fellow teacher in the program asking if I would like to be a part of her square squad along with a couple of other teachers from a variety of teaching backgrounds. Knowing my need for connection and friendship in general, specifically when working in an online environment, I immediately said, “Count me in!” 

Since I received that text, I have become close friends with my square squad. We have very different personalities and experiences in education, but we did discover that we are all the same age. We walked together on a journey of learning that included some challenging academic, professional, and spiritual conversations, as well as lots of prayer. We presented our thesis work together and have remained in contact with one another since graduation, meeting monthly on Zoom and finding time in our schedules for a live weekend square squad retreat each year. 

All of this to say, true friendships are an important part of our well-being: spiritually, emotionally, academically, and physically. It is easy in the online environment to either want to be left alone to get the work done or to interact with others on a surface level and call it friendship, but if we do that, we are truly missing out on the riches of a deep relationship. I am reminded of Proverbs 27:9 NASB “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and a person’s advice is sweet to his friend.” In this verse, I am reminded not only do friends lift us with words of praise, but they also challenge us to continue growing with words of truth.  

Who would you list on your square squad? If you cannot think of anyone, then I encourage you to pray for God to bring these friends into your life (and you into their lives). Looking to make a friend? Maybe check out a club or community group at NSA, reach out to someone you met in one of your courses, or meet up in person with someone in the community where you live. If you do have a list of names of friends you consider to be your square squad, let them know how much you appreciate them today. True friends are a treasure!

📣A Word From Admin, 🗣️AdviceEIC NSA2023-2024, February 2024 Publication