A Deep Dive Into NSA Families
By Zoe B.
family tree cross-stitch by phototake from Getty Images Signature Created in Canva
“I just wanna be adopted by anyone and everyone willing to adopt me. I wanna see how many NSA parents I can have.” Yes, you have read that sentence right. No, it is not talking about actual adoptions. Confused yet? Do not worry, we all are. Join me in my quest of trying to explain NSA families in a way that makes sense - and based on the fact that even the main participants are confused, it will not be an easy one.
Researching this topic took me to countless Teams threads discussing how families work, and ultimately to the person responsible for making and updating the family tree: Noah.
My first question was what NSA families are and how they work. Noah explained it by saying they are basically a game of family (someone is the mom, dad, and child, and everyone is making a joke out of it), but turned into something bigger, with its many generations of adoptions. He clarified how, “In the past, there was more pretending to be an actual family, with roleplaying where people were actually ‘in a house together’ talking, sitting, eating cookies, and such, but these days it’s mostly just people calling each other ‘mom’ or ‘brother’ or ‘son’ in a massive construct of sarcasm and fun.”
Now, it’s important to explain the process of how “mawwying” or adopting someone works. “Mawwiage” is simply a replacement term for marriage, since marriage sounds too serious. The different answers I got to this question show there is no clear set of rules to this. Nathan is one of the people most involved with NSA’s lore. He says that while adopting and “mawwying” is something those involved can agree to, in adopting there is more freedom to do it without the adopted knowing or caring for it. This seems to be common, as Emma shows, “Once I was just added to a group chat and deemed someone’s daughter. I didn’t even know her but oh well.”
Noah agrees but adds that sometimes things may be enforced. In his words, “For the most part I believe adoption has been consensual, but marriages have been arranged before.”
From an outsider’s viewpoint, it is common to see people posting their “profiles” on Teams looking for “mawwiage” partners, including key information about themselves (one girl even included a picture of herself in a wedding dress), and people saying things like “Does someone want to adopt me?”
While researching this topic, a new proposal was made by Nathan to change how families work. Before, people would get “mawwied” and adopt children. However, Nathan suggested this concept be changed, since it takes the joke too far, turns people away from participating in the families, and can lead people’s thoughts to unwanted places. He proposed the term “duet,” where the parental relationship between the children and parents is the same, but instead of people being “mawwied,” they are now “dueting.” I asked Porter, someone very involved with the families, how she felt about this change. She said she was originally opposed to it, as it is not the original terminology. However, she’s fine with it now, because she has seen how it has made some people uncomfortable. According to her, “Nathan wants to change it to be seen more as co-parenting instead of a marriage.”
After explaining what NSA families are and how they work, another key question comes to mind: “Why did they start, and why are they still a thing now?” Noah thinks they began around 2019-2020 because people wanted to play family and adopt their friends as a joke. In contrast, Nathan thinks that they began for the same reason that everything fun at NSA begins: boredom and wanting to have fun.
The main reason why they are still around today is that people want to keep it going to maintain the tradition with new students, while having fun. Noah says how being “related” to people can make relationships feel deeper, while Porter also mentioned how it is an enjoyable way to have someone guide you through NSA when you are new.
Anyone who has seen the family tree knows NSA families are a mess. They do not usually have a linear order, as Sarah’s experience shows, with her mom being her cousin, her grandmother also her aunt, and her grandfather both her uncle and possibly great-uncle. However, in the wise words of Noah, "It can be a lot of fun if you're willing to accept the illogical- and the impossible.” So, to any new (or old) students at NSA, I encourage you to be adopted, to adopt someone, or to find a duet. After all, we all are a little iNSAne, right? This is just another way of showing it while making great friends along the way.
Columns: 🧑🚀NSA Culture 👤NSA People 🔎Informational
Zoe B. lives in Argentina with her parents, dog, and one of two brothers. She is an eleventh grader, and this is her third year at NorthStar but first in the Navigator. In addition to being a writer for the Navigator, she is also one of two Club Coordinators for Student Council and a tutor for High School students. She has been playing sports all her life and is currently a competitive tennis player who dedicates a lot of hours to training and competing around South America.